ups and downs

I woke up feeling miserable today. Migraine, headache, dehydrated and stressed out. I had to call in sick to work, which sucks cause its rare that I have scheduled work… I can usually make my own schedule, but right now everything is collapsing…

I rested most of the day and then was able to get part of the way through building a pair of custom stilts for Cassidy, who is creating custom stilt pants for me and FedEx-ing them tonight in time for my trip to Aruba. Yeah, Aruba. I’m performing there for a corporate gig. Paid vacation at the exact wrong time of year. RIght before Burning Man? I wish I could cancel on the Aruba thing cause it is stressing me out, and then I will only have 4 days to get ready for the Burn in addition to helping Michael Christian finish his sculpture, and everything seems like a pain in the ass when I don’t feel good. and all of a sudden it feels like every single minute counts, yet I’m no at all committed to being so driven that I make every minute count.

I’m really tired of running around doing a million different things. I want to focus my energy. I want to be doing something I can believe in. I want fresh air and beautiful skies and no traffic and no war. I want dirt roads and nieghbors who smile and say hello when you pass them in the road. I want out of the city. I want out of the decrepit American culture of consumption, ignorance, and foolhardy independence. I want clean renewable energy. I want public transportation that is clean and reliable.

If we are going to have civilization, why don’t we have a civilization that actually works????